"this is no time for ease and comfort, it is time to dare and endure" --Winston Churchill--

let us take a moment to acknowledge the good things that sports have to offer, case and point, Wim Vansevenant. Who is Wim? he is the Lanterne Rouge of the Tour De France. I realize most don't know what the hell that is, or why it even matters, so i will endeavor to explain. the Lanterne Rouge is the man who has the dubious honor of finishing the tour in last place. why should this matter? why do we care about some guy who came in last? well, the tour is one of the most brutal, grueling bike races/sporting events in the world, it takes incredible stamina and strength of mind and body to ride all twenty days when you have something to win. it takes even more courage and fortitude to continue on day in and day out knowing you will be consigned to finishing last. lesser men quit rather than being listed as the last place finisher. still others can't face the physical torment the race visits upon them, and bow under to the pain . Wim conquered all of these things and finished the whole thing. So let us all raise a glass in toast to Mr. Vanseveant, cheers mate!! job well done!!

another sad day

Once again, the football world has received sad news. Legendary coach Bill Walsh, inventor of the "west coast" offense, has passed away at the age of 75, after a long battle with leukemia. many current coaches can trace their coaching lineage back to Mr Walsh including but not limited to: George Siefert, Sam Wyche, Dennis Green, Ray Rhodes, and Mike Holmgren. Bill Walsh created the minority coaching fellowship in 1987, to help minority coaches gain a foothold in a previously white profession. Marvin Lewis, and Tyrone Willingham were two of it's successes, and it was later adopted as a league wide initiative. he is widely aknowledged as one of the most cerebral coaches of this or any generation, and was accounted as one of the games great teaching coaches. he is most remembered for coaching the previously 2 and 14 forty niners to three super bowl victories, but while he was general manager his beloved forty niners won two more titles. he was well liked, and universally respected, twice being named coach of the year. our heartfelt condolences go out to the family that survives him. he will truly be missed, for his influences on, and off the field.

farewell to good times past

as if the last two weeks weren't bad enough for sports in general, now comes the word that i have dreaded for the last year. I knew that Curtis Martin was going to retire, but having it finally happen still pains me. i can no longer harbor hope of a miraculous come back. my favorite player in the NFL is gone. i would like to say thank you Mr. Martin for all your years of hard work and sacrifice. thank you for carrying the team i love upon your shoulders, and never once complaining. there were never any trade demands, hold outs, arrests, nightclub brawls, or anything else that would embarrass your fans. you labored to be the very best at your profession in the off season, and you played through pain that would have made others quit during the season. yet you never sought the recognition that you so richly deserved. you weren't the type to shamelessly self promote, as most of your former peers seem to do. with you there was never, "the i gained three yards on second and two" celebrations, no it was class all the way. in times of turmoil like this, it was especially nice to watch a true professional go out and play the game he loved, the way it should be played, with passion, heart, courage, toughness, skill, grace, and respect. you were truly the class of the league, and you will be missed. thank you Curtis Martin, and may you achieve as much in your further endeavors as you did as a player.

R.J.B.

cyclists wrecking own sport

cycling continues the downward spiral, with the positive doping test of Cofidis rider Christian Moreni, and the subsequent sacking of his entire team from the Tour DE France. as if this was not already bad enough, the leader of the tour, after a gutsy performance resulting in a stunning victory on the last mountain stage of the tour (which would virtually insure overall victory) was thrown out of the tour by his own team and summarily fired. he is rumored to be one of the mysterious "men in black" (cyclists who train in solid colored clothes instead of their team kits to avoid detection and doping controls in the off season), and has admitted to providing false information about his whereabouts while training to the U.C.I. all of this crap just overshadows the great strides and amazing performances of the clean riders in the sport. all of this makes me pine for something pure and noble. please bring back the roller derby, where people go and compete on an even playing field with skill, aggression, and heart, for no other reason then love of the game.

F#%&!! F?#&IN, F%&#ITY, F&%#, F#%K!!!

Alexandre Vinokourov, he was supposed to be the best of us. he was the odds on favorite to win the Tour De France. one of the truly strong men, in mind and body. he was well liked and respected by all in the peleton. after crashing in stage five and getting seriously injured, he received 30 - 40 stitches in his knees and elbow, he soldiered on. he lost huge chunks of time on stages he would have dominated in the past, obviously a shell of the man he was before injured, yet on he pressed refusing to quit. the crowd roared in approval as he staged a comeback in the time trial, and ran beside him yelling encouragement on the next mountain stage when he again faltered and dropped out of contention for good. having no hope of actually winning the tour, he did not quit like so many others, instead he attacked and looked for the individual stage victories. this courage and moxy made him a favorite of the fans, and they cheered him to victory in stage fifteen. he had such heart and courage that people flocked to him rather than the maillot jaune of the race leader. the prime minister of Kazakhstan personally came to visit him at the tour and tell him that they would sponsor his team for the next ten years. then today comes the tragic news that he has tested positive for a blood transfusion after his time trial win. i am heartbroken. he had it all, everyone already knew how good he was. he was more celebrated for this tour than any other rider in the field. the French fans showed up and cheered him as if he was one of their own, and this is the same man that said "french riders were always off the back because they were just lazy". they respected him when he was winning, but they loved him for the courage and fortitude he showed in defeat. he had nothing more to gain in this tour, and instead of going down as being the class of the field, another one of the great names in cycling is disgraced. maybe the sport i love really doesn't have any heroes. oh, and in case anyone reads this and wonders, he uses the same doctor that Lance Armstrong did. coincidence?!?!?

welcome home Derek Fisher. you bring with you much needed class and dignity. you and Luke Walton are the only players left that are truly Lakers. under your tutelage some of the younger players could also begin to attain all the qualities that a real Laker embodies. in addition to your talent, your calmness, heart, courage, and grace are things this franchise has been sorely lacking in the Kobe era. may you know only success on and off the court.

i am one sad puppy

Ok, so here's today's haiku.


Tara you are fierce.
And Venus is a terror.
I miss the derby.


Fin.

yes, yes, i know, i am one sad puppy.

oh, the humanity

aaaaarrggghhh! there has recently opened a gaping hole in my life. i would like to explain it, but i can not find the words. i find that i can only express my feelings of anguish in haiku. so here it is.




painful solitude.
i need more speed and carnage.
where are you now dolls?

Fin.

cone of silence?

alright, what the hell is it with me and technology? first there is the power grid that shuts down for hours every time the temperatures climb. then of course there is the mysterious web of computer signal blockage that encompasses my room, and my room alone. and now there is my goddamn cell phone service, or lack there of. yes that's right, my cellphone is the latest casualty of the dave technology curse. it says i have five full bars of reception, until i actually attempt to use it, then it switches to no signal and completely pisses me off! i have always had reception at my house, yet here i am sans phone. maybe the next time i send verizon a check, i should wait until they are trying to cash it, and then cancel it and send them a letter that says no payment. God Damn you verizon, God Damn you to hell, if you believe in that sort of thing.

patriotism anyone?

it is good to live in the free world damnit! i know i have my issues, but goddamn it there are some things you just can't beat. (unless they ask you to, and then only with the proper fda approved devices). i can say nothing more, further comments would just serve to dim these ladies radiance.

if it walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck

hah hah hah hah hah!!! the Anaheim ducks, who i have said all last season are F'n thugs, have just proved me right. yes, yes, i know they won the Stanley cup, but most teams in the playoffs could have, if they had systematically injured all the opposing teams players, just like the ducks did. i mean, that bitch Pronger was suspended ,TWICE in the playoffs for being the dirty bastard that he is. some of you said it was sour grapes, but i maintained my position all along. well, VINDICATION IS MINE!!! the ducks just signed Todd "I'll break your neck if you piss me off" Bertuzzi. I have a new phone line that will be dedicated to fielding apologies from all who accused me of being to biased to see the whole picture. just dial 1-888-Ima-dick. and yes i know Detroit had him last year, but they also had three kids from the minors playing in the playoffs. there weren't enough bodies to fill a roster without him. and yes i did boo one of my own players, i mean come on, it was bertuzzi.

insert clever title here

to those of you who are roller derby aficionados, i recently attended bout # 2 of the angel city derby girls season. it is definitely different than the L.A. Derby Dolls that i know and love, but it was entertaining nonetheless. don't get me wrong, i am not knocking these women one bit. they go out there and skate just as hard and care about their sport just as much. the differences arise from the tracks. the angel city girls don't reach the same breakneck speeds as the dolls due to the fact that they skate on a flat surface. and there doesn't seem to be as much hitting because skaters constantly flutter outside the lines to dodge someone. the dolls on the other hand, can ramp up the speed on their banked track, and there is nowhere to dodge when you you have a rail around the perimeter of the track. of course I'm biased, I'll always believe that "my" derby dolls are faster, meaner, stronger, and more beautiful than any other leagues girls, but that won't stop me from supporting other leagues as well. after all, the angel city girls always show up at the dolls events, the least i can do is turn the other cheek. really when it comes down to it, as long as they'll skate, we should support them. they are my people, the ones who fly in the face of convention. the ones who say "fuck society. I'm going to find a way to look how i want, live how i want, and do what i love. I'm going to make it work and you can't stop me." and more power to them!

where's my chainsaw?

hello kids, I'm back. I am still angry, but i have calmed down enough to resume writing nonsense. So, away we go. about two weeks ago, yahoo news had an article about a whale that had been killed. It seems that when they were cutting it up with a chainsaw, they found the remains of an old projectile used to "hunt" whales. well, being the fine citizens that they are, the good kind whalers took the bits to be analyzed. it turns out that the pieces match what was used to kill whales in 1879. yes that's right, the whale was at least one hundred and thirty years old when the good kind whalers decided to slay it. what does it say about the human race, that we are still slaughtering 130 year old critters when we don't really need to? i can only hope that these fine examples of humanity are cutting down giant sequoias to make their harpoons.